Love in the time of Lockdown
Why Valentine’s Day is more than just a greetings card holiday
(so let’s feel the love)
Isn’t Valentine’s Day just a greetings card holiday? Corporate propaganda that enforces the status quo of love?
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE!
I have spent my fair share of Valentine’s Days on my own feeling sorry for myself or forcing a date that wasn’t meant to be. I’ve had enough.
If you dread this date every year then let’s reframe it! It’s about Love right? Who gets to decide what that means to you? ONLY YOU!
I can see both sides of the coin on this one. Why should we need a day marked out where everyone is expected to do certain things; send cards, send flowers and chocolates, only be with someone that you have a romantic relationship with, and only do the prescribed things on that day? 🙄
I am a strong believer in making traditions fit your value system. I think traditions are important for marking out time, making sure life and work commitments don’t get in the way of celebrating the things that make us human, like appreciating the people we love, spending time relaxing, laughing, creating and getting excited about planning things!
I am not just talking about romantic relationships here. You can celebrate anyone in your life that you care about.
I get it, no one likes to be told what to do or how to celebrate. Now, don’t get me wrong, I unashamedly LOVE chocolates, flowers and believe in celebrating romantic relationships, and there are ways to do this that are thoughtful, romantic and let's face it, potentially necessary if you’ve been cooped up with your significant other for MONTHS!
BUT, if that's not you, that's fine! There's no reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater!
Here are some thoughts on how you can share the love on February 14th no matter what your situation…
COUPLES
If the traditional Valentine’s Day gifts ARE your jam, how can you do them slightly differently this year? Re-invigorate the tradition. Maybe find a local independent florist, chocolatier and card designer to shop with and continue the support of small businesses.
I am sure there are plenty of people out there who buy small love tokens for the people they care about whenever they like, throughout the year and that is pretty amazing! Major kudos to those wonderful people 👏
BUT some of us need a reminder now and again, especially if gift giving isn’t your particular love language, but might be for the person you care about. More on love languages HERE
CELEBRATE YOUR FREINDS
Now more than ever we need to foster that connection we have with each other. Let someone know you are thinking about them, that you are there for them if they need to talk, or just that you appreciate them.
I love the idea of Galentines (thank you Amy Poeler) and also Palentines day! If you have a friend you think would appreciate a gesture from you then February the 14th 2021 could be the start of a wonderful new tradition!
SHOW GRATITUDE FOR YOUR FAMILY
If you want to celebrate a family member then go ahead and do it on that day in whatever way you see fit!
Maybe you are in lockdown with your family and tensions have been high recently, could you try and make that day one where you take the time to be with each other in a loving way, ie; outlaw casual mockery or name calling for that day, work on patience with each other?
Check out this Brene Brown podcast episode on the art or gathering for some ideas of how to make your time together a bit more meaningful.
Maybe board games, a cinema night, a long walk or even a fire pit in the garden could be a good starting point?
LONG DISTANCE LOVERS
If you are in a long distance romantic relationship and can’t see each other at the moment, maybe now is the time to really think about how you can connect with each in a meaningful way on Valentines day.
There are so many creative businesses out there making thoughtful gifts you could send each other in the post. Combine this with a good old mix tape maybe and we are talking retro romance! Maybe even write a letter for truly vintage vibes.
FLYING SOLO
Ok, to all my fellow single/self partnered humans out there. What can you do on that Sunday that will make you feel amazing? Could 2021 be the year that you start a love affair with yourself? The year you embrace radical self love?
Ok, so last year was obviously the year of the podcast for me, being home alone AND self employed, so here’s another great episode about self love from the wonderful Brene Brown.
I know, I know, you are probably sick of the old cliche that you need to love yourself first etc, but the trouble with cliches is that most of them are true (oh dear, that was another cliche wasn’t it.)
Ah well, I’m sick of apologising and worrying what other people think. I want to plan a day for myself that I will look forward to. (That will probably involve artisan chocolates, a well curated Netflix playlist, a candlelit bubble bath, a dance party and probably more food.)
But there might also be some self reflection, some entries in my gratitude journal and generally looking at how far I have come and feeling proud of myself.
If we can work towards being happy on our own then we are in a perfect position. If you do want to find someone to share your life with then you won’t be reliant on them for your happiness, and that is a healthy place to start any relationship.
So what are we doing? Where is your bliss? How do you want to show YOURSELF how much you love you and/or the people in your life? Let’s get creative people!
If there was ever a year for change, for re-inventing traditions and for cherishing love in all its forms, it's 2021!
Much Love to you all,
Rebecca x